In my twenties, I negotiated an extension of the mandate for the Special Rapporteur for Human Rights in Sudan at the UN Human Rights Council in Geneva. What does that have to do with Easter Egg choices? Nothing. I simply felt that this piece required a certain level of gravitas to set the tone. Although the Swiss do make exceedingly good chocolate. Now, to Easter eggs.
Much like the preparation for the mandate renewal, I conducted a rigorous level of research to secure the successful presentation of my Easter Egg top tips. Some pointed to an ancient algebraic equation, others to the importance of complementarity with whiskey. One reasonably, and simply suggested: “whether they’re available in the shops”. With that in mind, here’s five for you.
1. The size.
It’s obviously everything. Or is it? While you may be tempted to go all lux and large with an ostrich sized offering for you and your family, no Easter is complete without a bag / tube of Cadbury Mini Eggs. Sugar coated crunchy mouthfuls of Easter, great for Easter egg hunts.
2. The chocolate.
The big debate. Here’s a curveball for you. It is unlikely that you will eat all your Easter eggs in one day. So rather than the obvious taste of chocolate test, I’m going to throw in the durability test: how long will the chocolate last? I have no idea of the factors that effect this but I’m keen to know if anyone can beat my sister’s record of eating an Easter egg a year after Easter. Answers on an Easter egg wrapper @vicarageandsons please.
3. The inside.
Oh the sheer delight of cracking open your Easter egg to discover there’s more inside – chocolate, rather than kinder surprise (awful chocolate, infuriating toys). My personal favourite has always been the bag of smarties. More sugar coated crunchy goodness. Although there was that year I was given a smarties egg on the promise of the inside surprise only to find it empty. Heartbreaker.
4. The extras.
Controversially, this is the game for me. An Easter egg is for Easter (or for months and years if you are my sister), a mug is for life. The best of these has to be the Wispa. That deep, dark blue shine on the mug juxtaposed with the red pop of that (say it with me) “Wissssspaaaa”. I love that mug. The added bonus is the unique and lets face it, slightly odd texture of the chocolate bar. But really, the mug is the star here.
5. The lindt bunny.
After all is said, done, considered, researched and argued over, the lindt bunny rules them all. Why? Because our mum says so.
In my twenties, I worked tirelessly to improve human rights in Sudan. Massive effort; tiny, if not non existent impact. Today, you spent five minutes reading this and transformed your understanding of Easter Egg purchases. You’re welcome.
Andrew